scaredlonely



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is in a post-game interview when his world stops.

    He’s just answered a question about Montreal’s offensive strategy going into the game. Clean passes, avoid penalties, draw defenders wide. It had worked and the Voyagers had beat Colorado soundly, 4-1. Shane had scored two of the goals and assisted on a third.

    Usually, Shane would be eager to boast about the win to Ilya. But ever since their fight- since Ilya told Shane to leave- winning feels hollow. Losing feels better, somehow. As if Shane deserves to lose after being so selfish. Ilya gave up everything for him- his home, his team, and to some extent- his happiness. Hockey. Ilya gave up hockey- good hockey- for Shane.

    A ripple goes through the room of reporters. Shane swears he hears the word ‘Ottawa’ and ‘crash’. But no one is paying attention to him anymore.

    “What’s going on?” he asks into the microphone, feeling strange at the role reversal. Usually, he’s the one being asked questions.

    No one answers. And this time he knows that he hears the word ‘Ottawa’ and ‘Centaurs’.

    ------------------------------------------

    Shane rushes to Ilya after the almost plane crash. Their secret is no longer a secret.

    Language:
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    10/?
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    01 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander, a lonely and longing househusband, calls pool cleaning services at the beginning of summer.

    Ilya Rozanov the pool boy shows up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,692
    Chapters:
    17/17
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    30 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Five years ago, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov quietly went their separate ways. They handled their heartbreak differently. Shane cut off his family and friends and focused only on hockey, not that it helped, his game has totally fallen apart. Ilya had the support of the Centaurs, even if they didn't know why they were supporting him.

    But when Ilya announces his retirement at the end of the next season, it shakes Shane back to reality. He has one season left to play against the man he still loves; and then, would he ever see him again? As Shane starts to piece his life back together, the biggest missing piece is still Ilya.

    Ilya had planned to just enjoy the last season he'd play of professional hockey and obviously try to win another cup. But when Shane reaches back out, he has much more to consider. He never expected to talk to Shane again, but he can't deny that it's everything he's wanted in the last five years.

    Can they salvage what they had? Should they even try? How can Shane and Ilya be a part of each other's lives again?

    Language:
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    134,160
    Chapters:
    18/18
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    27 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    As a straight man, Ilya Rozanov has never had a gay roommate before, but it’s going pretty well. Shane Hollander is kind, silly, and an even bigger hockey nut than Ilya.

    So when Shane starts bringing men over, and Ilya begins to want to bash their fucking heads in, Ilya comes to a startling conclusion: He must be homophobic.

    (He’s jealous.)

    Language:
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    40,186
    Chapters:
    4/4
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    10 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane could deny it – he could try to pretend the man in the audio whimpering for more isn’t him, that it’s a scam, that it was fake or edited. He could get lawyers involved, or take it to the press before anything leaks and control the narrative himself. But he doesn’t know how much more the blackmailer has, and he can’t risk Ilya getting outed or deported or – well, he can’t risk Ilya.
    *Shane and Ilya don't get caught at the cottage. But they still get caught.

    Language:
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    08 Jun 2026