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Dr. Ratthi’s face comes on screen. He steps back from the camera; it looks like the vantage point is set up on a tripod, rather than held by a camera crew. Immediately the tone is one of less formality than the show.
Ratthi smiles, though, a familiar beaming smile to the audience. “Welcome to the bonus, behind-the-scenes episode of The Rogue Construct Hunter! I am, as ever, your host and guide Dr. Ratthi. Do you think I would just abandon you all over the hiatus? Season one may have wrapped up, but while you wait for more adventures and more new friends in season two, I thought I would take a moment to answer the most pressing question my fans have been wondering over the past several dozen cycles.”
Words, apparently comments, reviews, forum posts, social media replies, feed messages, and entertainment news articles pop up on the screen, quickly papering over Dr. Ratthi in a layered collage.
“omggg he’s gonna get got one of these days”
“so when’s a rogue SecUnit gonna shoot him”
“do u think they’ll put it on the feed when he gets attacked by a rogue”
“he’s so RECKLESS i cant watch (this is a lie ofc i watch every week)”
“The Quirky Reality Sensation ‘The Rogue Construct Hunter’ Has Viewers Asking: Can Interacting With Wild SecUnits Ever Really Be Safe?”
“I hope he doesn’t get hurt!!!! What he’s doing is dangerous!!!!”
“I hope he gets his guts ripped out by one of those combat units ha ha wouldn’t that be funny”
“Dr. Ratthi please be careful!!!!”
“How is TRCH the most stressful thing I watch every week when at the end it’s always, every single time, like aww you live your life you funky little robot buddy”
“Do you think the rogues are really that friendly or do they edit out when they attack?”
“this is my favorite show and every week I worry that this is gonna be the week I get the notif that the show is cancelled cause Ratthi got killed :(“
“a lot of the rogues seem chill but it only takes one, doesnt it”
“Do you ever get hurt?”
“What’s the worst injury you’ve gotten while doing your show?”
“I keep wanting to believe in this sweet image of humans and constructs getting to live together in harmony somewhere but I’m worried anyway cause that’s never really how it works”
“I know it’s not live tv but watching TRCH gives me the same feeling I get every time I watch ultraball streaming, like, light above is this the day I’m gonna see someone die on live tv”
“He seems okay every ep, no rogue must have hurt him yet, right?”
“SecUnit definitely wouldn’t let any other SecUnit hurt him!!”
“I get so worried for all of the other rogues who seem so nice what’ll happen when one of them finally snaps. I hope Three stays ok and they don’t kick it out, I really like it and want it to be happy”
“tbh after listening to them all if one of em went fuck it and decided to kill all humans they’d kinda be valid”
“Are you ever afraid one of them is going to just flip out and that’ll be it?”
Ratthi waves his hands and the superimposed words disperse. “I’m touched that you all seem so worried for my safety! I assure you, I have never felt threatened in what I do. Every construct you see has agreed to be on the show, after all!”
He leans towards the camera conspiratorially. “However. You frequently wonder if I ever get hurt, or what’s the worst injury I’ve gotten while pursuing the truth about rogue constructs and their lives. And I shouldn’t keep you in suspense. I’m about to show you exclusive, suppressed, never-before-seen footage of the worst, cruelest, most vicious injury I have ever received from a rogue SecUnit. Brace yourselves.”
We cut to a shaky handheld shot, at eye height. We are in what appears to be the common room of a private apartment; SecUnit, Dr. Ratthi’s familiar companion and reluctant co-host, stands staring out-of-frame, its face pixelated as is common. The faint buzz of its drones can be heard.
“I’m thinking about making this my look for the show,” Ratthi’s voice can be heard saying, behind the camera; it becomes apparent that he’s the one filming. “What do you think?”
SecUnit’s face cannot be seen, but it grimaces with its whole body. “You cannot be serious,” it says. “You—Ratthi you look fucking stupid. I will not go on tv with you if you look like that, what the fuck.”
We cut back to the previous tripod camera setup. Dr. Ratthi looks so wounded. “How could my dear friend SecUnit betray and hurt me in such a way?” He shakes his head, his expression sad and solemn. Then he looks back up at the camera and says, “But, lest you think that this proves that SecUnits are uniquely cruel, I need to caution you that humans can cause just as much pain and damage.”
We cut to a shaky handheld again. A man sits on a couch in a different apartment, his body language relaxed and his eyes glazed over. His augments are clearly visible; he is immersed in the feed. A lower third overlay appears, with the caption “My dear friend Dr. Gurathin / human.”
“Hey, Gurathin,” Ratthi’s voice comes from behind the camera again. Dr. Gurathin blinks and looks towards the camera, then blinks again harder and jerks his head in a double-take. “Ratthi, tell me you’re not wearing that on your show. Ratthi why are you doing this. Ratthi don’t put this on your show—”
Cut to a handheld shot of two women. The lower third identifies them as “My dear friend Dr. Arada / human” and “My dear friend Survey Researcher Overse / human.” Arada is biting her lip, bouncing slightly on her feet, and fidgeting with her hands; she says, hesitantly, “Well, that’s… an interesting outfit choice, to be sure.” Beside her, Overse leans on her shoulder, wheezing and gasping for breath, laughing so hard she can’t talk.
Cut to a handheld shot of a woman dressed in sharp, professional, dark-colored clothes. The lower third identifies her as “My dear friend Solicitor Pin-Lee / human.” She has her hands pressed over her mouth, but her wide, cackling grin is clearly apparent behind them. “Oh, I dare you to wear that on screen,” she says, laughing through her words. “Wow, I dare you.”
Cut to a handheld shot of a woman that the lower third identifies as “My dear friend Dr. Bharadwaj / human.” She clasps her hands to her chest in over-acted shock. “Is this your devious plan to capture more viewers than me?” she exclaims. “How could you be so fiendishly clever? The war escalates!”
We return once again to the tripod setup. Ratthi shrugs. “So you see, SecUnits and humans alike can hurt you, if you aren’t careful! However…” The shot zooms out to show that, though Dr. Ratthi is wearing a respectable loose off-white shirt of organic materials, we can now see he is also wearing camouflage-print stretchy booty shorts. Ratthi around to show them off; they have the word CLIENT in bright red across the butt. “I think it’s worth it.”
Finishing his rotation so he faces the camera again, Ratthi spreads his arms and says, “This has been a special behind-the-scenes look at Dr. Ratthi’s “The Rogue Construct Hunter”! I hope it’s been an enlightening look into the process. Stay tuned for season two! And remember… there’s diversity in life experiences, thoughts, and opinions among all people, if you know where to look.”
Cut once again to a handheld cam shot. A familiar SecUnit dressed in a cacophony of layers, colors, and fabrics stands in front of the camera, looking curiously. The lower third reads “My dear friend SecUnit 3 / SecUnit.” Three tilts its head slightly, and then laughs. Its laugh is quiet, its lips closed, like it’s embarrassed to be heard laughing. But the expression on its face is genuine.
“Is that for the show?” Three asks.
“It’s definitely a concept I’m trying out,” Ratthi’s voice says from behind the camera.
“It’s funny!” Three says. “I like it.”
SecUnit’s voice can be heard from off-screen, shouting, “For fuck’s sake, Three, don’t encourage him.”
Ratthi holds the camera at arm’s length, so we can now see him, smiling triumphantly, before the image cuts to black.